One of the hugest secrets we attempt to keep is a sense of independence and self-esteem. The idea or sensation that you are crucial in some distinct way, that you are loved by a special person, that somebody is giving you distinctive attention, these are some of the ego’s very delicate secrets. We are trying to hide our Divine Self and are engaging in all these different games, which seem to be very upsetting. It is pretty depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of distinctive love, attention and acclaim to prop ourselves up.
We toil so hard at turning into “improved people”, at gaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more popular. The entire self-help sector is focused on improving the self so you can grow into a better you. That is another scheme we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep spinning our wheels trying to grow into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very relaxing when you start to realize that you do not have to turn into any better than you currently are. You were created perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find serenity but through self-acceptance.
As I collaborated with A Course in Miracles, I could notice that there was a dread of divine love in my mind. I understood this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being uncovered and being perceived as a puff of nothingness. That is the fear of intimacy. We speak about this dread in relationships, which is sometimes depicted as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a dread of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the dread of getting swept away by a splendid love, a love so strong that none of us can even fathom something as magnificent and powerful!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great realization. It always starts with feeling like you have done something inappropriate, whether you’ve masturbated, swiped something, mistreated somebody, or there is something in your mind that you have deemed as so ghastly that you don’t even want to face it, you just want to forget about it and push it out of notice.
Beneath all those recollections and thoughts, is the belief that we are divided. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we assume that it is true; We have considered it as horrific and have pushed it out of notice. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in division. And as you really provide yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally confront this hidden belief in separation!
Please, share any thoughts and observations with me below, I’d love to hear about your journey!
This Moment Is Your Wonder brings you tools to turn around all fearful thoughts and beliefs. Using these tools makes it feasible to find the complete sense of independence and serenity you’ve always been yearning for.
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